"Oh Walter, look, these adorable little freaks are headed to Orlando too!"
If you look up the phrase ‘milking the cash cow’ it simply says “see: Minions (2015)”.
I liked Despicable Me as much as anyone else and sure, the Minions were amusing as the inept sidekicks. However, for some reason beyond everyone’s control, the Minions became their own thing. Have some lunch boxes you can’t sell? Slap a Minion on there. Found an inspirational quote you like? Why not spice it up with a picture of a Minion!
It’s not entirely surprising then that this sort-of prequel to the franchise got the green light. It goes back and tells the origin story of the Minions, but for some reason ends up stuck in 1960s England. The story is a mess - the Minions are trying to find a new master but end up stealing the crown jewels and becoming king of England.
There’s enough material for a decent caper comedy but the critical error was forgetting to make it funny or entertaining. In fact, Minions is an irritant that makes you constantly want to turn it off. That’s quite an achievement really.
I have to give a nod to the production values - the animation looks really nice.
Aside from that, there’s nothing to like. It’s an annoying, humourless mess of a film.